Tag: college

5 Qualities Christian Men Look for in a Girlfriend (From a Guy’s Perspective!)

What do guys really want?

This is a question I asked myself for many years. Oftentimes, I ended up looking in the wrong places, leading me to draw the wrong conclusions. Been there before?

Being a girl in this day and age is hard, let alone trying to be a girl following Jesus. Anyone else feel the struggle? As young women, we are constantly being targeted and lied to about our worth, which heavily impacts how we perceive relationships. One of the biggest culprits, you ask?  

It’s way too easy to muddle what culture tells us guys want with what men who are pursuing the Lord actually want.

Culture today tells us that the quality of our relationships is tied to our sex appeal. Being superficial is okay. Dumbing ourselves down is “cute”. Having ambition isn’t necessary. And the depth of our conversations is unimportant.

What culture tells us that guys’ want will ultimately lead us to destruction, heartbreak, and shame.
But God doesn’t want that for you.
He has so, so much more in store for you.
And that “so much more” is a man who is chasing after Jesus, and who wants to chase after you, too.

So… what do those guys… the ones chasing after Jesus today, look for in a woman worth pursuing?

On our flight home from my friend’s wedding, I asked my boyfriend Michael to narrow down the TOP 5 things that Christian guys are looking for in a girl. Here’s what he had to say… with my personal tips on ways to apply this information in order to become a woman worth pursuing!

1.) Loves the Lord

“I can only be fully understood by somebody who shares my beliefs and convictions. Without this, it would be difficult to remain on the same page as you navigate through a relationship.” -M
This may be the most obvious, but is also the most important. If you want to be with a guy who loves the Lord, you should be pursuing the Lord and making Him the #1 priority in your life.
TIP: Instead of spending your time pursuing a guy, spend your time pursuing the Lord. Your relationship with Jesus is, and always will be, the most important relationship you maintain throughout your whole life. Authenticity in your faith will lead to authenticity in your other relationships.

2.) Trustworthy

“A guy has to find someone who he knows has the right intentions, and knows won’t compromise a relationship when the guy has put his heart out there.” -M
Healthy, lasting relationships are built on trust. Because of this, men who are looking for a serious relationship are also looking for someone who is equally as committed as they are.
TIP: Before getting into a relationship, ask yourself this question: How committed are you to the relationships in your life right now? When you make plans with people, do you keep them? Are you a loyal person with lasting friendships? Are you able to keep confidential information private, rather than sharing it with everyone? If the answer to these questions is yes, chances are, maintaining the level of trust that Christian men are looking for in a relationship should come easy to you.

3.) Fun & Adventurous

“Most guys want someone who likes to live life and be out there. Be bold, go do what you want… be yourself.” -M
A guy who is looking for a serious relationship is looking for someone he can build a life with. He is looking for an individual with strong convictions & goals to achieve!
TIP: Pursue your passions. Chase your dreams. Create a life that you love. A guy worth having will see that and say “Wow, she’s passionate & driven. I want to be a part of that.”
DO NOT wait to find a guy to start your life.

4.) Likable by Others

“A guy doesn’t want to bring a girl around who gives a bad impression to his friends… he wants to bring a girl that he is proud of.” -M
Basically, this one boils down to this. A guy who is looking for a serious relationship is looking for someone that he can bring into his life… not isolate him from it. However, being likable doesn’t mean altering your personality or behavior to get people to like you. It just means being yourself and genuinely caring about the lives of others! Radiate the love of Christ.
TIP(S): Instead of trying of trying to make yourself more important in his world by being clingy and isolating him into spending time with you, enter into his life and allow him into yours, and you will naturally become more important to Him.

5.) Accepts Me For Who I Am

I think Michael said this one best, so I’ll just quote him 😉
“As guys, we have been conditioned to have it all together, to be the leader, and to not let a girl down. Those are the pressures we have to live with. We are supposed to have it all together before even considering asking a girl out. This is unrealistic. We don’t have it all together, and it produces anxiety when we fall short in our relationships.
Plus, when you grow together, instead of entering into a relationship with a guy who already has it together, you get to experience the joy & accomplishment of growth and learning, instead of just being with the ‘final product’. The former is much deeper and much more meaningful. That’s why it is essential that the woman we fall in love with is someone who loves us for who we are, and not our merits or accomplishments.” -M
TIP: Just learn to love people for who they are… not what they do, where they are going in life, or who they could be. Also, be an encourager in the lives of others!

 

Okay, so… let’s be honest here.

The reason you clicked on this post is because you were curious about what Christian guys want in a relationship, and you wanted an answer about what you need to do in order to win one over.

So here’s the answer you are looking for: just be yourself. Remember all those tips you just read? Focus on those things right there.

Pursue the Lord and create an authentic relationship with Him.

Commit to and make time for the people in your life right now.

Create a life you love by pursuing your dreams & passions.

Love people for who they are, not who they could be.

Then, when the right guy comes along, he is going to walk into the life of a beautiful woman who radiates the love of the Lord. She loves people authentically and selflessly, and she chases the dreams & passions that God has placed on her heart. And he’s going to say:

“Wow. This is the woman who is worth pursuing for the rest of my life.”

That, my friend, is God’s “so much more” for you.

<3, Britt

How to Own Your Decisions

Do you ever feel like the people around you influence your decisions? Or even worse, that people try to make your decisions for you?

If you’ve ever felt like this, let me tell you… you’re not alone.

I vividly remember my senior year of high school. There were a lot of great things about it… the dances, spirit weeks, football games, and traveling. But, there were also a lot of hard things about it, namely, committing to a college.

Choosing what to do after high school is extremely hard due to the fact that there are So. Many. Choices.

Do you stay in school or go straight into the work force? Go to community college or get a job? Stay in state or move out of state? Which major do you choose? What’s your budget?

Choosing a college and major was very challenging for me, because it was hard to narrow my choice down to what I actually wanted. It seemed that EVERYONE in my life had an opinion about what I should do, which was stressful.  By March of my senior year, I realized I was committed to a school that I did not care to attend at all. After coming to the realization that the reason I was going there was because I was influenced by what I thought would make everyone else happy, I decided to switch my decision to the school I actually wanted to go to, GCU.

Have you ever been stuck in a situation like this? Maybe you second guess your decision not to go to college because of the stigma attached to it. Or maybe you are apprehensive to enter into a new relationship with a guy you really like because you know your family and friends aren’t crazy about him. Maybe it’s even as simple as wanting to buy a pair of Vans, but now you’re considering Converse instead, because that’s what is in style.

I think a lot of our indecisiveness is rooted in insecurity. The reason we can’t decide what we want isn’t because we don’t know what we want, but because we don’t know what will make those around us happy.

Here’s the truth: You’ll never be able to own a decision that is not your own.

I think the best way to own our decisions can come from evaluating these simple things: WHAT, WHY & WHEN

WHAT

What does this decision entail? What are the pros & cons of your decision? Do the pros of your decision outweigh the cons?

For example, when I was choosing a college, I made pros & cons lists for each school I was deciding between, and only proceeded with the schools that I decided the pros outweighed the cons. Determining WHAT your decision is about helps your narrow down your decision to factors of importance. If you have reached the point in your decision where he pros prevail, it is important to evaluate the…

WHY

Why are you making this decision? What is both your logical reasoning and your emotional reasoning driving this decision?

Determining why  I wanted to go to each school helped me land at a firm decision. Once I evaluated both my interior and exterior motives, and weighed each decision in the light of logic and emotion, I was able to decide the school that I actually wanted to go to, not the one that just had the most pros vs. cons.

Evaluating WHY you are making a decision is the most important step in the process, because it helps you own your decision. Once you have owned your decision, you can determine:

WHEN

When and how are you going to put this decision into action? What are the practical steps you can take to own this decision?

Once I committed to Grand Canyon University, I enrolled in my classes, registered for housing, picked a roommate, and started to look for ways to get involved on campus. Once I felt confident in my decision, I started to take the necessary steps to make it a tangible reality.

Having a WHEN in mind makes sure you stay committed to your decision, and “seals the deal”.

I have found that following this simple decision making process creates an ownership to all my decisions. Now, when people try to sway my decisions or convince me to change my mind one way or another, I can explain to them exactly why I am committing to a decision, because I have taken the time to OWN my OWN decisions.

From now on, own your decisions… don’t let your decisions own you!