Have you ever been faced with a grey decision?
You know, one of those decisions that isn’t black or white. Day or night. Light or dark. East or west. Sweet or sour. Apple or Android (okay, okay, I’ll stop). I’m gonna believe you get the point.
All that, to say this: How do you make a decision that doesn’t have a right or wrong answer?
The more decisions I am faced with in life, the more I am realizing life is full of grey decisions.
It’s not fun, huh?
Recently, I had one of my decisions questioned. Have you been there before? I immediately went into defense mode, trying to justify why my action wasn’t wrong, and what my reasoning was for making the decision. I’d argue my action wasn’t “wrong,” and still think I had some legitimate reasoning. But after giving it a lot of thought and prayer, I am coming to realize this:
Sometimes, NOT doing the wrong thing does not mean you are doing the RIGHT thing.
When we are following Christ, listening to His voice, and immersing ourselves in His word and work, and we make a choice that is wrong or sinful… we know it. We feel convicted, guilty, and remorseful.
But sometimes, when we make a decision that is not inherently wrong, things become fuzzy, and we start to rely on ourselves.
Suddenly, we minimize God from our decision, and elevate our own understanding. Our own ability to handle a decision. Our own knowledge.
Ultimately, it becomes a pride issue. We know best. And that’s a scary place to be.
I’ve recently realized I can improve my decision making in the midst of grey decisions. Because of this, I’ve come up with THREE questions ask myself about before making grey decisions.
3 Questions to lead to the “RIGHT” Answer:
1.) Does this decision need to be justified?
Chances are, if you need to justify your decision, it’s not the best decision you can make. Unless you are needing to justify your decision against a faulty perspective, your decisions and actions should be able to speak for themselves.
2.) What would someone who looked at this situation with no additional context say?
I think that most people want to believe that their reputation will speak for itself. However, we live in a world full of judgment, pointed fingers, and people trying to find fault in others. It’s easy to ask ourselves “what would my best friend, who knows my character and fundamental beliefs, say about this decision?”
However, those closest to you have context. They know you.
A better question to ask might be “what would a complete stranger, who knows nothing about me, say about this decision?”
If you don’t like the answer to that question, chances are you won’t like the outcome of that decision.
3.) Am I okay with being defined by this choice?
This is really what it all boils down to.
Perception is reality.
What people think about you is what they will believe about you.
And what people believe about you reflects how they treat you.
Although it’s unfair that we live in a shallow world that does not care to scratch the surface to discover people’s intentions, motives, and heart, we must understand this:
Our decisions are a direct reflection of what we value.
So, although making a decision that isn’t “wrong” may not be a sin, does that decision:
- Reflect my heart?
- Mirror my motivation in life?
- Speak to my character?
- Provide evidence for my relationship with Christ?
If the answer those questions is YES, then commit to that decision.
It may not be black or white, but it will certainly feel right.